my love update!!

so i don't think i fully explained my "love" situation yet. and why should i waste the time? it's always changing. my friends and i can barely keep up with each other's. so before today, i liked this guys (for privacy, let's call him joe). he is totally goergoous (-the acne scars, but he is definitely the best in our grade). anyway, i liked him last year, and he found out and called me "fat and disgusting". you just don't say that to a girl, no matter what they look like. so anyway then i went on this whole workout obsession so only i benefitted- but still. so i ahted him for a wihle, until about three weeks ago. then i started liking him again. i don't know why, especially since he supposedly likes someone else. whatever. we have hung out a little in school, mostly just because we have mutual friends. he seemed nicer this year, smart and really funny. and i still think he is, it's just not really worth my time and energy going after someone who doesn't like me, probably never will and who is primarily intersted in sports and his friends. and he knows i like him now, because i'm really bad about keeping it a secret when i like someone. he hasn't made a move yet, so he probably never will. i just don't think he's worth it. i think i'll always have a little thing for him, but it's going to be way better for me in the long run if i just get over him. it would hurt really bad if he dated someone else, though. because he knew i liked him adn still didn't want me. but it's going to be better this way. i just have to keep reminding myself that. hopefully everything will work out.
some people are really good at being single. i am not one of them. i have gone out with weird random people just to avoid being single. ii'm always sad and lonely when i'm not dating someone. and i hate seeing ny friend's lives going right when mine is going wrong.or not even wrong- just that i'm single. i'm not always jealous of WHO they are dating, just that they are dating someone, and that i am not. it's a pretty depressing thought. yeah.
i have to go do the wonderful, joyous thing they call homework
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~everyone deserves a glass slipper~