"night"

if you have not read "night" by elie wiesel, go read it right now! i finished it a while back, but was just copying sentances i love out of it, so i remembered it. it is honestly one of the most life changing books i have ever read. and that says something, coming from a twilight addict. i love this book and every single element of it really paints the horrible picture of the holocost. oh, i love it. yeah. go read it. now. i'm kinda likeing this book reivew thing. maybe i'll do more.
~xoxo~

frutarian day 1- breakfast

for breakfast today i had one cup of seedless green grapes. one cup is actually a lot. for normal sized grapes it was about 50, so depending on the size of the grape, one cup is usually about 40-50 grapes. i'm also going to be doing the thing where you can basically eat whenever you're hungry, but you have to wait 30 minutes between meals or snacks. this is to make sure you are acutally still hungry, not just bored and snacking for something to do. as far as reaching this weeks goal by wednesday pound wise, probably not going to happen this week. i'm back up pretty heavy right now :( but i'm working out all the time, so it should get better... i hope. i am not any less motivated, so that's good. i think it will just take a little more time than i had hoped, but my three pound/week goal is still in place, so i'm hoping to get back on track with that. i think that's it as far a my frutarian-ness. also, you eat only fruit, if you were wondering, but you can have other stuff a little but, like for school i'd still have a sandwich so i don't look anorexic, but primarily fruit. it was really hard for me to leave my protein shake in the fridge, cuz i really wanted one, but i had to say no, so i'm proud of myself for that. ok, that's it for now. theoretically, i should also be more hydrated, because fruit has so much water in it, that's why there are so little calories, and i'm trying to drink more water as well, which will help to kick hunger a little. if you have any questions about any of this, e-mail, twitter, dm on twitter, message on youtube... you get it. there's plenty of ways to reach me.
~xoxo~
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all night part 2

i fell asleep from 4:50ish to 9 am. which isn't what i was planning to do, but at least i didn't stay sleeping until afternoon. i think it is actually good that i got 5 hours of sleep, so i can see how i function on this, then get down to nothing sometime in the future. it was kinda fun, though. ya. i'm also a frutarian now, sorta... so i'll update on that. i just kinda wanted to keep the posts separate... ocd, i know.
~xoxo~

my all night adventure

so i accomplished this staying up all night deal... it is now 4:15 am, the time i normally try to get up for school. i kinda feel stupid though, cuz i didn't really accomplish anyhting tonight, all i did was watch videos. but whatever. so let's see if i can make it through today. i might go to sleep for a little while right now. i'm trying to decide if i want to just sleep all day, or have a normal day and just go to be really early tonight to make up for missing sleep. i don't really know. maybe i'll be fine just trying to stay on my same schedule. idk. it's really fun though, i mean, maybe it's just because it's a change in the routine of things, but i love it. i love change. i embrace it. like how i'm loving my new room setup. that makes this whole staying up all night thing even better cuz it's something new added to the already newness. hahaha can i make up words on here? whatever, i will. i'm kinda getting a headache right now, or maybe i'm just tired. or maybe the bandana in my hair is too tight. probably all three. if i go to sleep now, i probly won't wake up until afternoonish, which is bad becuase i'm supposed to go ride with my trainer, and she's kind of a morning person. so mayber i could stay awake through that, but i don't know what time it's gonna be. drinking water to help fuel thought. my legs kill.4:21. 4:22. i havn't thought of anyhting to say for the past minute, there's a first. so i think i'm gonna finish the holiday, which i havn't finished yet. i think i just get bored with movies sometimes.... i don't know. whatever. kinda have a stomach ache now. does that mean i need sleep? i've never done this before to expirience the side effects. i mean, like i've stayed up into another day before, and there's always been sleepovers and stuff, but i've never stayed u[ throught the night with the intention of not sleeping. i feel so b.a. right now. and i'm not even doing anything bad. starting the frutarian thing today. should be an interesting expirience. but when i eat fruit all the time, like at school and stuff for all my snacks, i will randomly start craving carbs. like i'll really want goldfish or cheez-its or my special k crakcers instead of fruit. cuz even when fruit is really good, you have to get sick of it after a while and want to eat crap. but it's good for you, so i'll try to hang in there. i'm just excited to try it and see how it works out.i think i might just close my eyes for a little bit, but not long cuz i wanna see if i can function with no sleep. so far, i've been good up until now with only having that little hour nap. i'll update with how this little adventure goes...

random update

i am basically only writing this because i've lost three (gasp!) followers today, presumably because i have been blowing up twitter with all my randomness. so now i'm writing a post. hahaha. so bowling with the family was fun, but i got a massive headache from the smokey smell. i forgot to wear nasty clothes, too, because our bowling alley at home is new and has never had any smoke in it, so that's the one we always go to. i woke up really sore today, like i couldn't move, but despite that, i worked out again today and it was amazing. ya. working out is good. hahaha. i'll probably feel like hell tommorow. oh well. i kinda like being sore though, cuz it means you are actually doing something and you can feel the effects of your efforts, you know? maybe it's just me, but i like the feeling. plust you can be like "ugh i'm so sore from working out" and it makes you sound all cool and healthy. maybe i'm the only one who sees the enjoyment of telling people that. oh well. also, i'm thinking of another name change for the blog, so give me your ideas for that! as you know from twitter, i'm all sad cuz i had to leave "valentine's day" cuz my friend go sick, so send me your links to watch online!! thanks. i'm also contemplating pulling an all night, which i think i will do know, just cuz i don't have school tommorow and it sounds fun. also, if i do the frutarian thing (just to try it out) do i have to eat ALL fruit, like that's it, or is it just MOSTLY fruit? can i still have my protein shakes? it seems like you'd need something besides just fruit to get other vitamins and shit. let me know health experts! i'm feeling my developing thigh muscles. they are coming along nicely:P is that weird?? this is one of my longest posts in a while. maybe then i'll be out of random thoughts for twitter. that was basically the only point of this post. ok. love you guys! oh, happy 7th birthday to my little brother, love you baby!! hahaha and happy valentine's day to everyone if i don't get back on here before midnight!! don't forget valentine's day links!!!
~a day in the life of love...~
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love you guys, xoxo

happyish valentines day!

happy (...) valentine's day everyone. i woke up in a surprisingly good mood today. watched ps i love you last night, so now i have the soundtrack and its AMMAZING!! haha. sos luckily i'm gonna be pretty busy tonight cuz, you guys know, it's my little brother's burthday, so we are going bowling with a couple of my aunts and cousins and out to lunch to celebrate. si that should be good. then we are going to church tonight and then i'll be finishing my movie marthon and i'm gonna watch "valentine's day" tonight. i've held myself off so i can see it today!! so what are you guys' plans today? anyone have an actual valentine? anyone as hopless as me? anyone just not care? i'll post back later to tell you how deppressing or hopefully not my day was! love you guys!
~don't be afraid to love~
xoxo

and to add to my already fabulous day...

so when i got home i didn't know friendboy was here so naturally i went right for the chocolate and the only thing we had were peannut m&ms. i had a huge handful and the he walks in the room and comes over to hug me. he is deathly allergic to peanuts, so i start flipping out and run outside, spit the m&ms in the snow and run baarefoot, through the snow to the back door and brush my teeth (twice) mouthwash (twice) and wash my hand (twice) and change my clothes. i put my hair up, too but i don't know if that makes a difference. he is fine now, but i was panicked.
and almost killing someone defintely adds to my feel good mood. so now i really need the sad movies and chocolate, except, oh wait, i can't have chocolate without risking almost killing friendboy (again). if i didn't feel like total shit before, i definitely do now. fml. i feel like shit and no one wants me.